What is giving you life right now??

I went to a special taping of an upcoming Oprah Super Soul Saturday event in September and so grateful for the chance to go. This event came a week after Chris left for Spain and a few days after I lost my part time job of 8 years! It wasn't that easiest week for me, so this event couldn't have come at a better time. I spent that day with special people at my side attentively listening to the amazing guest speakers Oprah had put together for us- Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Michael Beckwith and some other new favorites for sure. They each had a different and inspiring theme to talk about but which all resonated with me one way or another. Some of those themes included:

• Living your life with Intention- Oprah
• Marble Jar Friendships, vulnerability and what BRAVING really means- Brene Brown
• The Science of Happiness- Its a choice people
• How following your curiosity will lead you to your passion- Elizabeth Gilbert
• How failure is just information to change your course- Oprah's wise words

And there were so many other motivational themes of self awareness to swallow up and process...and so many necessary for me to hear at this time in my life.

I was ready and took notes in this special little book I had received from the Oprah website a few years back. I had never used it waiting for the right moment and this was it. So each speaker had its page as I transcribed every possible word I could that I wanted to remember. 

I have been trying to process and take all this information since that day and find a way to implement it in to my present life. I have also since that day, been 'TVOing' Oprah's show "Super Soul Sundays" in which she talks to other motivational people. And I was so inspired to take notes at the live event that I am now also taking notes as I watch these shows to continue to take in any information I can use to help me live a wholehearted life.

One of her Super Soul Sunday guests was Rev. Barbara Brown Taylor. An American Episcopal priest, professor, author and theologian. She spoke on many things regarding spirituality and what it means to her but she also spoke on embracing your darkness. Your darkness could be anything to you, as big or as little of a situation or state of being you might be in. This concept peaked my interest especially because she mentioned how much we are socialized to avoid darkness in our life. She felt that when we embrace those "dark moments in our life we need to take 3 breaths and learn to sit in this darkness" because these are the moments in which we can learn the most about ourselves. The dark doesn't necessarily have to be bad.  Talk about a change in perspective...Wow!

Anyways, so I started to think- I could have always considered this time in my life a possible moment of darkness- my first born is out of the house, an empty nest beginning, and I was also now looking for a new job- Uggh!  However, as she said that I realized that these are the moments in which I have already began to embrace to learn and grow from.

She asked the viewers at one point a question that inspired me to write this post:
"What is giving you life right now?? and What is saving you at this moment?"

I have to say that as I heard her ask the question, I felt like it was directed right at me and I immediately began to write my answers:

The things that are giving me life right now are:

• Finding a way to send Chris away to school and to Spain is giving me life. I know that we're not supposed to necessarily live through our kids, but hey, I can't deny that yes I am and it fills my heart. I may not be there with him to him experience any of it, but just knowing that we are giving him that chance to experience people, places and things that we never had a chance to do gives me immense life. It really is giving me purpose to live and work really hard and in turn to enjoy and appreciate my own life.

• Finding (or re-finding) my career path. Its funny how things work. I was lucky enough to have been able to work from home for the past 8 years, but it was time to move on and the universe knew it. So it closed my doors in one area and its proving to be opening up a few more for me in areas I hadn't even thought of pursuing until now.  In the last few month I've found a few new opportunities to get back into the accounting field which is what I actually graduated in. I've found a few freelance positions as a bookkeeper and I've jumped in head first and I'm loving it.  

•  Working again is actually giving me a chance to get fully reacquainted with my accounting education and skills that have laid somewhat untapped for the last few years and at the same time expand my knowledge as technology has become an integral part of the accounting process these days. Its giving me life because with each passing day I am regaining confidence in my capabilities and skills and its helping me to "Dare Greatly" by pursuing some new ventures that I would have never considered if I didn't try and put myself out there like this.   I'm very excited!

• The chance to feel comfortable in truly trusting God. It has not been easy to let go and let God when it comes to giving my boys wings and independence. But having no choice but to hand that faith over has been a big lesson for me the last few months. I am learning to be more comfortable in my faith and more importantly feeling very grateful for that trust in God that has been the cornerstone to how I've been able to deal with all these changes. 

 In regards to "what is saving my life at the moment?"

• Working outside of the home- Again, I have a new purpose and something to keep me busy, mentally active and even grateful for the tiredness its producing, and something to look forward to doing. I realize now that I was getting a little too comfortable working from home and wasting more time than being productive.
• Slowing down- Its kind of an oxymoron, but now that I am actually a bit busier because of work, I have actually had to slow down in others to plan out our days, our lunches, dinners, grocery shopping, etc. It in turn has somehow given me more energy and time to do a few other things because I have to make every minute of free time count- aka.a lot of multi-tasking and it still feels crazy sometimes, but I'm getting things done. Its amazing to see how your home life figures itself out just when you think it will be out of control.
• My friendships - All my friendships lately, especially the ones who are going through similar changes, have truly been there for me right now to hear me out, to understand my tears, to encourage and support me when I need that the most. They've made for some quality coffee times together!!
• My family- I can't begin to express just how much Jerry and my boys are my rock right now. When I miss Chris the most, feel sad or the most tired they're the ones who are there to lift me and feed my soul and keep me going.

Anyway, its been a few months and I haven't really had a chance to write, but I felt like I had to get this down for me to remember. The last few months have been emotionally and spiritually impactful all in their own good way and its a point in time in our lives I will never forget. I feel like these last few months have come with their own sense of smell, touch and feelings and have produced their own group of memories to recall in the future. I truly appreciated the way Rev. Barbara Brown helped me change my perspective that night. I feel like I've been able to make a moment of possible darkness" into a moment of much "light" and that has felt like its own kind of accomplishment for me.

Have yourselves a wonderful weekend.

This summer has been...

Different. Just like everything else this year...just a little different. We didn't have anything major set for summer, no special vacation plans, no big budgets for anything with college tuition starting to roll out, and yet I feel it has been one of the best summers we've had for many different reasons. A lot of what we've done has happened on a whim, on short notice invitations, or because timing just happened to work out nicely. It honestly just seems like stars have aligned this summer to put even the smallest situations together to make them into very special moments for all of us and I'm just grateful for all of them.

 Ever since school got out, this summer has been about...

Special get togethers- Our first special get together was Christians graduation party. It was a special night with family and friends who came to celebrate his wonderful accomplishment. As always, I tried to make it special with as many homemade grad decorations possible, as well as making his cake which I always enjoy doing. It was a special night.  We went to a 60th b-day Sinatra themed party for a special friend that included a Sinatra like performer and some great food. And along with our other Colombian friends we gave a very special going away party for our dear friend Lina who moved to Miami with her family. We had a great 4th of July together, we have an upcoming family reunion in San Diego, and we've had a few memorable dinners in honor of Christian's going away thanks to some special family friends.  ;) 

Family visits- Since the beginning of June we've had different family members from Miami, North Carolina and even Colombia, come visit us in LA. Some of their visits overlapped so that made it that much more interesting and busy. My aunt and uncle from NC were here the longest and it was soo nice to have them around to spend time with us and the boys (which they really haven't seen since they were little), and the fact that they are HUGE soccer fans made watching the Americas Cup soccer finals with them so much more fun. I haven't seen my cousin Melba since I was 16 years old in Colombia and it was great to see her again and see how well she's done for herself.  My brother had a bbq at his house and we had a great time catching up. Then my cousin Juan came into LA for a friend's wedding, but had one day to be able to spend with us and we totally made the most of the time we had.

Cooking- Aside from getting him ready to do his own laundry and many other solo things, he is getting himself ready for college by learning how to cook. Not just "noodles," but good food, homemade food he's been used to. I've been teaching him some of my recipes, and he has discovered his own and he's even been cooking with his friend, Luke, a future chef himself, so he's going to school pretty prepared to defend himself in the kitchen. He has a passion for it, sets up his own cooking environment (including salsa music to put him in the mood) and he is actually pretty good. I have even been able to entrust him to cook a full dinner for Jer and the boys when I haven't been able to. I will miss that when he's at school, but it makes me proud to know that we have a second cook in the house.


(Re)Discovering LA-  I feel like this summer we have been able to (re)discover Los Angeles in a way we've never ventured to do so before, considering that we have lived here all our lives.  Having my cousin in town asking to see some trending breweries as opposed to doing something touristy, I realized how much we really don't go out and panicked at the thought of us being boring hosts on the one day we had with him. With the help of my brother, we ended up at hitting up 2 different types of craft beer restaurants in two different parts of town including the hipster town of Silverlake. It was an incredible day for me as I felt like the tourist myself.  I felt like my eyes were opened to all the amazing things our city has to offer. We've visited more new places/restaurants in just a few weeks than I ever have including LACMA, Bar 20 lounge on Sunset, a friends house in Malibu Canyon, the top of Point Dume, and Santa Monica pier and even Huntington Beach which I haven't been to in years and all new for the boys.

Universal Studios- The boys and I along with one of their friends got passes last year and they were going to expire at the end of June so I made it my goal to make sure we take advantage of them and that we did.  I saw the advantage of getting passes especially to an amusement park that is so close to home. It was also so nice just to be able to go for a few hours, get on all the rides and then be able to go home. We did something different each time we went and actually got to see the Fast and the Furious Ride on our last visit. We seemed to be able to get the most out of our time there. We are hoping to get passes next year when the Harry Potter world opens up!!



(Speaking of...) the Metro system. Mikey and I took the metro one day to Universal to avoid parking and traffic and Mikey and I loved the adventure. It was such an easy way to get to any place...so convenient and fun. Not only have Mikey and I taken the metro, but Christian has also been preparing himself (and us) to be able to handle taking the Metro system in Europe when he's at school. He has taken the metro on a few day excursions with his friends all the way to Olvera Street, the Music Center in downtown LA for dance lessons, and Hollywood Blvd.  The metro might be commonplace for many, but its new for us and we need to know that he can figure out this form of transportation, efficiently and safely here so he can figure it out there without us.

Bonding time for Jerry and the boys- Jerry doesn't always get the chance to spend as much time with the boys as he'd like to due to his work and long hours, let alone individually. But this summer has given Jerry the well deserved time and opportunity to go on individual weekend trips with 2 of the boys so far, Mikey and Chris, and get some amazing quality time with each of them.  Mikey's best friend invited him and Jerry to his guys birthday weekend up in a cabin by Kern river doing some really fun things- riding bikes, scavenger hunts, bonfires, smores, swimming and even some "BINGO!" They had a blast together and as a group, but Jerry said the part that made it all worth it for him was the 3.5 hour ride up to the ranch that opened up some wonderful conversations with his youngest son that he's never had before. Love, love, love!  With Christian, he went along with him out to Florida State University for Chris' college orientation and Jerry couldn't have been more excited. Most people know that FSU is Jerry's favorite college football team/school! So his love for this school came to a complete circle the day that Chris had accepted to attend here, and then to actually get to visit the school together for the first time...forget it! Both shared that feeling of awe for the campus, that student pride for Chris, and the pride of being an FSU dad for Jerry. A wonderful trip for both of them. And don't worry...Jerry is planning a weekend for him and Danny as we speak. Its coming soon and they too will have a blast together.

So the truth is, this summer has been special and different just by sheer virtue that its the last full summer we all have with Chris before he goes off to school in Spain and begins his own life, his own new adventure as an adult. Uggh...that hurt to say. Anyway, it is what it is, so we are taking advantage of every moment we have with him alone and together as a family, and he is taking advantage to enjoy time with as many of his own good friends too. Its a special time and memories are being made all around and once again, I couldn't me more grateful. And to be able to have it all documented for us to look back on...priceless.

I hope you're all having an amazing summer too and from my little corner to yours...Thanks for stopping by!

Motivational Monday...let it go

I haven't done a Motivational Monday in a long time, but I just got my January issue of Real Simple magazine and the title of this one made me happy. It looks like Real Simple and I are on the same page this year.

Then, I found this quote on the second page of this issue, and I love how Mr. Bradbury
put this into words.

I like this magazine so much and in general it always has great information and beautiful pictures. But this issue looks like its going to cover many of the same topic areas I'm looking at "letting go."
I think Its going to be a good read.  ;)

Have a great week everyone!

Saying goodbye to Parenthood...

I had another post scheduled for today, but I had to replace it with this one for now as the realization hit me. You see tonight, in a few hours, I along with many other fans of this beloved TV Show, we will be watching the final episode of Parenthood. My weekly visit with the Braverman Family will be no more.

https://www.facebook.com/Parenthood

And I am beyond sad!! Honestly, my eyes well up as I think about it.

Overdramatic? Maybe, but I know some of you out there will understand.

For the last 6 years Parenthood has become one of those tv shows that I have added to my list of the few and rare emotional attachments to something (outside of my family of course) that I hold close to my heart. For those of you who know me well some others include (as silly as they may be)- Davy Jones/The Monkees, Harry Potter, Oprah, etc. Tonight actually feels very close to what it felt like the night my sisters/brothers in laws got together to watch the last episode of  FRIENDS after 10 years. Ugghh! But this one just might be harder... Yes, really!

This isn't the first time I've written a post about this show on my blog either. I wrote this post back in 2011 when I got to meet the cast of Parenthood just 2 seasons in, and this show has been a DVR preset on our tv for years since then. If you read that post you'll see just how and why this show has been so important to me, and years later I still feel the same way if not stronger about it.

nbc.com

The Bravermans became family and friends to me. Kristina Braverman (Monica Potter- love her too!) will always be one of my favorites and a model of grace, compassion and courage for me...a hero for a modern mom. Sooo cliche, I admit, but as a fan its hard not to become completely invested in their growing story lines over the years and have them impact fans like me in some way. They covered so many truly relevant family issues like autism, mixed families, breast cancer, infidelity/separation, coming out, depression, PTSD, growing old, and even finding ones path in life. Of course, not all the story lines fit  me exactly, but the emotions and feelings portrayed by all the characters were all relateable somehow.  They felt real. They made you feel deeply whatever the issue was. And these themes were always carried out with the same exact care, love, and realism that made me fall in love with this show to begin with.

There's no point in complaining or demanding that the show not go off the air. Its leaving and that's Hollywood for you. But they've had a great run and I am so happy that they were given the opportunity to wrap up the story lines as well as they have to give the fans a proper goodbye.

So Thank you Parenthood for sharing 6 years of your wonderful, beautiful characters and stories with me, with us, your adoring fans. For letting us be part of your family. For all the anxiety, tears, and laughter I know I've personally shed and chuckled out loud. But more importantly for all the LOVE you've shown us and how to give it and receive it in our own lives.

I won't say goodbye forever, because I know I'll see you again soon...on hulu. (thank goodness for hulu, lol)

But for now- Parenthood, you will be incredibly missed.

XOXO
 

Purge, purge, purge!

I'm on a roll. I can't stop! Jerry thinks I'm on crack. Well not really, but he thinks I'm on something because I have been on this kick since this last weekend. I've been purging (and organizing) anything and everything I can get my hands on, a little at a time. The more I get done, the more I want to do....and it feels Great!

Purging can be very overwhelming, right? Where the heck do you start? You know that feeling when you open that messy drawer and you just go "Uggghh." You can't deal with looking at this space, but yet there is that absurd sense of like, 'well I know that what I need is in there somewhere, so whatever!'  Yeah, that feeling. But really, it was getting to the point that every drawer was turning into a "dump it drawer" and I am not having it this year. I am in the search of some control through letting go of as much CRAP as possible and the peace of keeping things looking simple and orderly. Something that is still hard to do when you are blessed to live with 4 boys/men(?) but a controlled version of this would be wonderful right now.

So this past week has been a non-stop daily attack of some space in my house. As I pull things out and before I consider keeping something useless, the words "purge, purge, purge" fly out of my mouth as verbal motivation to happily trash or give away. I have purged bathrooms, drawers, shelves, under the sink spaces, cabinets, you get the picture. I even spent 7 hours one night purging and rearranging my entire kitchen. The kitchen is my hub and I need things I use daily to be more accessible so all the pots/pans/appliances and more got rearranged as I tried to make better use of my kitchen space.

The fruits of my labor- 2 filled, above the rim garbage cans just from all the trash I pulled, and over 8 bags of old clothes, accessories, electronics and much more junk stuff to be given away. I have found things we thought were lost and could still use, and have found things that will never (ever) be used so bye-bye once and for all. Be gone, all of it!

I was on such a mission that I forgot to take before pictures, but trust me I'm saving you from the chaos, so lets just show you a few results of the after...

Its amazing to see how much space I have actually re-purposed and rearranged and in turn regained. Its not 100% magazine ready perfect, but its 100% better for me, for us. I have found spaces in my house that are now actually storing things they were meant to store and most things now have an appropriate place to go. And there is still more to go. (Keep posted this week for one of the funner projects I took on.)

I'm not sure where I am getting my drive from, but there is such a high that comes with purging..its like oxygen, the ability to breathe again, to think, to have clarity...its priceless. Using things now feels good, everything seems to work better, there are systems in place it feels like. I'm much more motivated to put things back where they belong because there's some where to do so now. More importantly, I've shown the guys what I've done so they too can help me keep things in order- fingers crossed! So I will continue to take advantage of it and do as much as I can before I fizzle out. Its wonderful to do, but heck...I've been working hard. I'm tired people...but its so worth it!

This "purge" has really aligned itself with my 'letting go' this year. I feel like I truly had to complete something as overwhelming like this now, in the first month of the year, before I could move on to to anything else I'd like to do in 2015.

I feel I now have permission to do what I really want to do...the fun stuff! I can't wait!

From my corner to yours...Happy purging!!