Thursday, October 11, 2012

Turning things around

I've been apparently crawling into a dark place lately. I didn't even realize it, but now that I have...It hasn't been fun. I'm being challenged lately, in a physical way. Not only have I had some dental work that has had my jaw in pain for a few weeks, I have been dealing with some back and leg pain that isn't allowing me to exercise, jog or even briskly walk for that matter! It is totally frustrating! I've come to realize how much I need to exercise and the fact that I CAN' taking a huge toll on me emotionally!

Its affecting me in more ways than I want to admit, and accompanied by the fact that I am being called out on it by those closest to me hurts me more than I can explain. I am not like this usually, and to think that I am expressing myself negatively doesn't sit well with me at all. But after some soul searching, I have come to realization that these physical restrictions and limitations are mainly at the core of my emotional dysfunction of the moment.

I've done my due diligence though. I went and got myself checked out via blood tests and x-rays and thankfully all my blood work has come back with flying colors, although my doctor did point out that at my age things can be changing (No, really?!) Great! I've since been consoled by the fact that friends have said that things are changing with them too, lol! Uuggh! However, my x-rays were the winners showing that an old injury to my tail bone is coming back to haunt me. I'm not appreciating its timing, but I guess I have to deal with it before It becomes permanent.

I saw a chiropractor yesterday that confirmed that my body is a little tweaked here and there, and is need of some alignments, but nothing too serious thankfully.  He has also told me that I shouldn't be running right now because I could make this worse. So what does that mean? It means that the 10k I had my heart on doing in Novemember is probably out of the question at this time. This is a painful and disappointing  pill for me to swallow, and my pride is getting to me as I'm ready to prove my body wrong even if it means that I can't run after the race. BUT the logical side, the side that prefers to get better now so I can possibly do more than just one 10k in the future, is slowly taking over, but begrudgingly so I have to say.  My body is telling me otherwise and it needs to get rid of some stress soon or else I feel like I'm going to tear something or somebody up into shreds...Just saying :\

This whole situation has me very short tempered, moody/emotional and on the verge of tears...all the time. So in essence I've been very down, and have been seeing everything through negative eyes (unfortunately, a bad habit that keeps coming back on occasion). I just haven't felt happy. This isn't any good...for anybody!! My poor family can attest to this and I don't want to feel like this anymore or Ever for that matter. 

However, this week I feel like God has been trying to wake me up by hitting me with Facebook posts of quotes and sayings that my friends and family are posting (none of them aware of what I've been feeling btw). I couldn't help but wonder if its just been coincidence or maybe that the universe is trying to tell me to get over it too.

I also saw a beautiful rainbow on Tuesday night that I mysteriously couldn't get a clear picture of to have proof of. (I guess that was a gift for my eyes only...hmmm??) So I said to myself as I saw it, "Ok, God. I get it now. I'm going to be good. Its all going to fine on the other end." It made me take a deep breath, and it felt good.

So I am going to turn things around for myself. Or at least try!

Yesterday, the sun was bright and beautiful. I am a finger tip closer to a goal I've been trying to reach for a long time which will hopefully get me closer to a newer goal I've been thinking of taking on. My jaw is on the mend, and I have a possible treatment plan for my back problem that in the long run will hopefully keep me "running" happy and healthy again. And I can't forget that next week, my family is off to HAWAII! I need to thank my awesome In-Laws for this much needed trip, and we are all going to use this time to re-charge! So all of this has made me happier. I am feeling hopeful and somewhat re-energized, and there is a new purpose for me.

I found this on Pinterest the other day, and it was my prompt for this post. I have to believe that this challenge/roadblock is only temporary and in the long run will only make me stronger. It has too!!!
I cannot give up on my goals. It just can't happen. It will not happen!!

Not if I can help it.

I'll keep you posted. For now- Enough said.

From my corner to yours...may you be able to turn around your challenges today.

Have a great day :)

No comments: